Testament
Para Bellum
Nuclear Blast Records
2025
Look, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it – when I heard Testament dropped a new album, my first thought was “Oh great, another one.” Their last few records left me pretty damn cold, so my expectations were basically in the gutter. But holy shit, Para Bellum actually slaps.
The opening two tracks come out swinging like they’ve got something to prove. Pure adrenaline-fueled thrash that hits hard and doesn’t let up. This is the Testament I actually want to hear – not whatever watered-down stuff they’ve been churning out lately.
What’s wild is that even the slower, mid-paced stuff doesn’t bore me to tears like it usually does. The hooks are solid, the melodies actually rip, and nothing feels like filler. That’s a miracle in itself.
Okay, real talk – “Meant to Be” almost lost me. It starts with this gorgeous acoustic intro, and I’m thinking “hell yeah,” but then it goes full symphonic drama mode and I’m like, “Guys, what are you doing?” It gets way too theatrical and cheesy for a hot minute. But then they snap out of it, drop some face-melting leads, and salvage the whole thing.
Bottom line? This album kicks ass. Old-school fans are gonna lose their minds, and if you’re into thrash that doesn’t suck and can actually play their instruments, Para Bellum deserves a spot in your rotation.
Testament Proves They're Not Dead Yet with Para Bellum
Testament's Para Bellum is a shocking return to form after several lackluster releases. Opening with blistering thrash and maintaining momentum through killer hooks and melodic mid-tempo tracks, this album proves the veterans still have plenty of fight left in them.
Morbid Mario
Morbid Mario’s metal journey began at age 12 in 1982 with AC/DC as his gateway band. He quickly graduated to heavier acts like Ozzy, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Motörhead, and Saxon. Soon, he was a metal tyrant, buying albums based solely on their cover art and diving into bands like Metallica, Slayer, and Dark Angel. Now, with over 40 years of metal under his belt, Morbid Mario continues to attend shows, travel to festivals, and support bands that meet his uncompromising, elitist standards.
